I always say that my life is and have always been a beautiful struggle with all of the challenges I face, and yet so blessed for being able to overcome them by GOD’s Grace!

The Lord stood by me and gave me strength…

…more so these past months when my darkest point in my life shattered my heart to its core when my Mother passed away.

The saddest sound in the entire universe

is the sound of the last heartbeat!

I’ve never been so helpless and heartbroken! I still ache from losing her…there are days that are tougher!

Missing you comes in waves and tonight,
I’m drowning…

Through this, my breast cancer journey continues…I still have to go through my infusions, tumor marker labs and oncologist follow-up every 3-4 months because of the invasive nature of the cancer I had.

Add-on, my better-half himself is having medical challenges now, too.

I’d rather it just be me, not my loved ones.

But as I always say. too ”there’s always good in bad and that “there’s always something to be thankful for”…

I am thankful that I’m back to work— though I basically work now just for gas and my cancer continuing insurance coverage—BUT I AM THANKFUL THAT I AM WORKING! I’ve always liked to work and I’m blessed that I’ve always been getting along with my co-workers, then and now… some even became long-time friends which I still have contact with though we’re miles apart. My co-workers now are also a bunch of lovely ladies and a handful of gentlemen. Fun group to work with!

Thank you for making me laugh
when I couldn’t even smile.

I was told by my grief counselor and my oncologist today to “be kind to myself” and try to start doing things again that makes me happy even going through whatever life throws at me…

I’ve been away from social media platforms for a while now, but started to be active again on my Twitter, Tiktok, Instagram and this Finding Nirvana.net Website, a part of my Anonymously Yours Network, which with or without and an audience serves as my blogpile of emotions on where I kinda wear my SkippyHeart on my e-sleeves again.

so I am back…

as always,MY DEAR LOVED ONES, FRIENDS, EARTH ANGELS AND BEAUTIFUL STRANGERS, please hold my hand and promise not to let go…

The Journey - BLOG

Please hold my hand and promise not to let go…

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Seek and You shall find ME…

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Forget Me NOT!

This time last year, I was scheduled for my breast cancer surgery and the uncertainties of what to come shook me to my heart’s core…I must admit, my faith faltered then…

Though a year have past when my cancer journey begun, these past few months come with new challenges: I had 5 eye surgeries and on one fateful July day — I had an oral surgery causing me to have dental parethesia, a nerve injury. My severely bruised left jaw made my face so swollen, numb, toothless and having difficulty swallowing, A-fib and shortness of breath, I ended up 3 times at the hospital. I am still unable to eat properly; I’ve lost 11 precious pounds; more than what I’ve lost after my mastectomy. I am so skinny, my skinny jeans looks baggy on me.

But just like during every storm in my life, with even just a flicker of hope, courage and a trembling heart, I am still here by GOD’S GRACE one day at a time.

…though every day of my life seems like a battle, but as I put on the full armor of GOD, I hope and pray to find work again and move to another place…

Do not be ashamed of what your survival looks like. Do what you have to do. You are clawing yourself out of the ache, cutting the pain from the bone. It is never going to be pretty, but I promise — it will always be worth it. ~ The Strength in our Scars by Bianca Sparacino

Thank You GOD for allowing me to see another day. I aim not to live for myself but to live for YOU and my loved ones. Please guide me, give me strength and help me to do better than yesterday…